parappapapaaaa I'm lovin' it

I find it kinda funny how I could write when I am angry or upset. But I find it even funnier that I don't feel a thing but I have so much in my mind right now, I just feel like letting all out writing today. So here I am....

Syafiqah Fauzi

I wish I had said everything. I wish I hadn't held back the words that keep ringing in my head now. So I'm writing them here. These words are for you.

I met you and was instantly drawn to you. You were not funny but sarcastic and sexy and unattainable. I wanted to be around you, even if it was just to watch you from far. I wanted to just be around you. We had that moment one night (or maybe more -.-"), that moment where we both stopped and thought that maybe there could really be something between us. But it was unattainable. It wasn't logical. And yet I thought about you. And wondered what you were doing, and if you felt the same.

When it all ended, i called you. From that day on, you had me.

In the beginning of us it was not so great. I wanted to touch you, your hair and hold your hand and be in your arms all the time. I didn't see anyone else. And neither did you...for awhile.
But I saw what others thought. And I saw what others were saying. And I let it ruin us.

There was some point-

I'm starting to think you were solely put in my life to cause me heartache. Every time I think I have finally forgotten you- there you are right back in my life to remind me. Yet still, there are times when I wish you had picked me. You had the simple choice all to yourself- me or him. The ball was completely in your court. We were both recently out of relationships, which made everything fresh and exciting, but when he wanted you- you didn't just go running back, you sprinted. It all happened so fast you left me no time to react. I think you did it out of impulse because I know you regret it from time to time. But there it was, despite our undeniable connection, you picked him. You couldn't admit to yourself that you had fallen for me and I was so unexpectedly heartbroken I couldn't even fight back. That was it- you picked him and left me in a million little lonely pieces.

For weeks thoughts were constantly bouncing around in my mind about what I could have done or said to have changed your mind. Should I have told you that I loved you earlier? Should I have put my broken heart aside and fought for you? Or maybe it was just a lost cause from the start. Regardless, I hope you know that I would have been there for you whenever needed. Kind of like the night you were sick and I laid myself to your house- just because to pass you panadols. I remember one day when we were hanging out with the others by side the swimming pool, all of sudden you wanted to back home- and so I walked you down hill until you spaced out (I still don't know and couldn't careless why) crossed the road without noticing there was a car and it was about to run over you- and I pulled your hand then snapped you. I was always there, and always would have been. I know it was hard for you to let me go and sometimes you show that you haven't fully let go of me. You show it when I catch you looking at me. But despite all of those things, you didn't pick me. It was a leap of faith that I was asking you to take, but you just stayed planted on the ground.

I would have been with you, and given you all of me..but it would have never worked. We would have never worked. Being with you was amazing, being wrapped up in you was intoxicating. Being away from you, not hearing from you, knowing that your mind was everywhere but on me, was painful. You never told me you loved me, that you always could, and you would always hold a place in your heart for me, that I had made an impression there. But I was a fool to just believed the unpredictable body languages. It could be easier if you just say it clearly in front of my very eyes and ears. Was I just another dumb guy that tried to climbed your heart and just to get myself hurt by falling down again, only to get off and get back in line again?

It's been months now and I'd like to think those things I wrote up there.. do not matter to me now since that I've moved on just before you did. yeah I saw your status on facebook few days ago and no need to deny anything, that status is for me. Well congrats to both of us. There's nothing to be afraid and shame of. Some of your friends maybe will be reading this post or maybe not. I know some people will say hell yeah big deal, why can't he grow up and stop being so pathetic. But this is my blog and I may rant all I want. I couldn't careless if they wanna show you or not because I've moved on. And owhh, another thing is just do not spoil yourself up and go ruin your life. I wish you the best

Anyways lets change to the next topic shall we?

why am I so sad?

"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, a Lover can warm your bed, but Lonely is the soul without a mate"

I’m lonely. And I’m lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.

a journey..

*train to airport

*waiting my flight

*flight back to KL

at last! went to bandung and jakarta for a quick getaway. I had a really good and memorial time over there. Felt that 3 nights was not enough for me.

I took a train from KL central to Pasir Salak. From there, mount a bus straight to the airport. Then at Indonesia I used a lot of 'angkut' and taxi. I recorded video of my journey the moment from KL to Jakarta-Bandung and KL back, but sorry guys, can't show you the video. It just for my family though. Let myself, my family and God know what I did there.

Anyway, in simple words and short... there I'd done Spa for 2 days to relax myself and yes I enjoyed! Then I did something unusual for me... I went for manicure and pedicure..awkward but definitely fun!

owh yeah, I got pictures of me doing spa, mani and pedi too.. but they seem to be very embarrassing which I decided not to publish those pictures. -.-"

Nevertheless, alhamdulillah for the safe journey. ^^

Jakarta and Bandung

alright just few days left before I go to Jakarta and Bandung for a quick getaway. To be exact, 5 days which this coming Saturday. Argghh even thinking about it makes me become enthusiastic, I can't wait! The spa, leathers shop, unknown people, ladies... everything! and I am going alone without my family neither friends. After 2 hours of explanation about the true reason of going there.. mama and abah allowed me to go, but with a condition. I'll have to make my way to Jakarta and meet somebody first and only then I can go to Bandung. Fair enough to me. Nevertheless, syukur alhamdulillah for mama and abah did understand their selfish son. Thanks ma bah.

Some of my friends did tell me that it is not safe to go there alone.. and yes, I am well aware of that. But guys, can anyone of you tell me that Malaysia is damn safe? Now a days we often shocked by many cases saying robbery, rape, and such things. Plus the latest one is about the famous 'acid splasher'. So these are what so called safe? I'm not so religious type of man.. but if Allah does want it to be happen, when and where you are... it will happen, and of course the other way round too. So hopefully once I got there, everything will be fine.. insyaAllah.

I love money. $__$

wow! you have this! you have that! you have that car too!
you bought those things using your parents money? errr Okay. -.-"
bersyukur jelah kan dgn apa yg kita ada. ^^

cigarettes, shisha, and tobacco pipe

Shisha pipes injurious to health

A research by the Department of Health and the Tobacco Control Collaborating Centre has revealed that smoking a shisha pipe is as injurious to health as smoking tobacco.

Shisha is an Arabic pipe with a flexible tube. Water is used to cool the smoke that is produced by burning fruit-scented tobacco.

The study also found that one shisha smoking session could produce four to five times more carbon monoxide than smoking a cigarette could do, though the exact level of carbon monoxide inhaled by each cigarette smoker was different and could not be ascertained.

High carbon monoxide levels can cause damage to the brain and unconsciousness.

When the carbon monoxide exhale by various people was measured it showed that a normal non-smoker’’s level was three parts CO per million parts of air (ppm) which means less than 1 per cent of blood his blood was not working properly, a light smoker to had CO levels of 10-20 ppm (2-4 per cent of blood not working properly), and a heavy smoker 30-40 ppm (5-7 per cent).

Shisha smokers had 40-70 ppm of CO in their breath, which affected 8-12 per cent of their blood.

The BBC quoted Dr. Hilary Wareing, director of the Tobacco Control Collaborating Centre, as saying: “Our mouths opened at the level of harm – none of the tests we did showed anything other than shisha is hazardous to health.”

Paul Hooper, regional manager at the Department of Health, said that the study showed that the dangers of shisha smoking were a “major issue”, though many people believe it “as not even smoking”.

ShishaBars have become quite popular across the UK especially in the cities of London, Manchester and Birmingham and the misconceptions generated here encouraged the scientists to carry out the research on the effects of Shisha smoking.

Dr. Wareing said: “We found one session of smoking shisha – that’’s 10 milligrams (of fruit tobacco) for 30 minutes – gave carbon monoxide levels that were at the lowest four and five times higher than having a cigarette…But at the worst, shisha was 400 to 450 times more dangerous than having a cigarette.”

She added shisha was still awaiting more research to find out its adverse effects. Paul Hooper said the department was trying “how best to get the message – that it is dangerous – across to the consumer”.

“But how do you label the tobacco and the shisha pipe? It’’s not as simple as labelling a packet of cigarettes,” he added.

alright good! one after another. I managed to stop from smoking cigarettes..and now will I be strong enough to stop shisha? argh damn. dude, I can't stop from getting smoke out of something.. sheehhs looks like I must buy a tobacco pipe so that I can take my eyes off shisha.

my latest addiction

alright izzat, first of all... I want to blame you, your pipes and the tobacco. Do get me the midwakh as soon as possible. Then later on I can get myself a better pipe to smoke. ;)

Dude, we both can be called young pipers. hehehe funny though.

Steps

1. 1
   Find a pipe that suits you. Tobacconists are more than happy to help you find your perfect pipe. Prices can vary from cheap to a small fortune.
2. 2
   Experiment with different tobaccos in order to find a preference. There are many varieties of pipe tobacco, including Aromatics, American blends, English blends, Virginias, Burleys, amongst others. A tobacconist will be able to help advise you on their individual characteristics. People completely new to smoking may enjoy an aromatic or lighter tobacco, while on the other hand a habitual cigarette or cigar smoker might prefer a heavier blend. Buy small amounts representing several different styles.
3. 3
   Pack the pipe. Fill the pipe loosely with tobacco and compress it lightly. Compressed halfway from the bottom of the bowl to the top. Fill again to the top and compress with a little more force. This time halfway from the top of the previous packing to the top. Now top it off and compress a bit harder. Again half way from the last point to the top. It must not be so dense as to prevent air from being drawn through the pipe; you should be able to draw air through with little or no resistance. The tobacco should be springy to the touch. It's best to have your tobacconist or an experienced pipe smoker demonstrate. Correct packing takes practice, and has a major impact on how enjoyable your experience will be.
4. 4
   Light the pipe with a wooden match or a butane pipe lighter. If using a match, let the sulfur burn off for a few seconds. Move the flame around the surface of the tobacco while drawing gently until evenly lit, then tamp it gently with a tamper. Let it go out, then relight the same way.
5. 5
   Puff slowly and rhythmically. Patience is rewarded with aroma and a cool smoke. Puffing too fast will result in tongue bite - a burning sensation on the tongue.
6. 6
   Tamp the tobacco gently and periodically throughout the smoke to ensure the bowl remains correctly packed while smoking. Don't worry if the pipe goes out from time to time. Simply relight, after the pipe has cooled.
7. 7
   Make sure you smoke your pipe to the end to create a nice 'cake' (layer of carbon deposits) at the bottom and side of your pipe bowl.
8. 8
   Relax and enjoy. Pipe smoking is the quintessential art of smoking.
9. 
   
   
   

gambatte

you cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

you cannot help small men by tearing down big men.

you cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

you cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.

you cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.

you cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatreds.

you cannot establish security on borrowed money.

you cannot build character and courage by taking away a man's initiative and independence.

you cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

...let's be a somebody in this cruel world...and tell them...

"I'm not one of kind you can play with..."

gadis melayu

awak memang manis ^^

what a day

alright on the evening, mama's ex-students came to the house for reunion. We had a small party, bbq ,spaggetti and etc. Plus awkward thing happened to me. I just cant believe it that mama introduced few girls to me. Actually that was kinda lame laa ma. Eventhough they are kinda funny and pretty too. -.-
Then around 9 I guess, lisa called me. So I asked her whether she wants to go watch movie with me or not.. but she had to go buy her school stuffs and on.. and so I went alone. Btw, fast five was cool though. ;)
after that, shisha for awhile at geo's and there I had a really nice conversation with Jason, Pian and another peson *forgot her name. Whatever it is, indeed we were having and enjoyed our conversation.
and thus, surely made my day ^^

cucu nenek

Nek,
suatu masa bernama dahulu
makanku selalu nenek suapkan
mandiku jua nenek jiruskan
masa tidurku pula nenek dodoikan
diriku nek tak pernah berenggang

Nek,
musim belalu begitu pantas
cu bertuah dibesarkan oleh mu
rasa syukurku ke hadrat Ilahi tidak terbagi
berbanding ramai remaja zamanku ini
yang mungkin mereka dimanjakan oleh keluarga
menyebabkan mereka lupa akan erti kesusahan

Nek,
dirimu sangatku rindui saat ini
ajaran dan peringatan nenek terhadapku
suara nenek yang gerimis
pada sebuah kesilaman
cu selalu minta dibelai manjamu
kerana ayah dan ibuku sibuk seharian
cu menjadi amat amat rindu

Nek,
cucumu ini berbangga dengan didikanmu
cabaran kehidupan cu tongkah satu persatu
malah akanku cuba terbang
mencari sinaran
berkat seorang ibu dan anakmu
insyaAllah cucumu ini temui kejayaan
sekiranya tidak
cu terima takdir yang telah ditentukan

Nek,
cu doa nenek diberikan tempat disampingNya
semuanya telah berlalu
namun saat ini kenangan mengusik kalbuku
pohon agar titisan cu tidak membebankan nenek
cu bukannya apa
walaupun nenek tidak dapat lihat hatiku ini
cu cuma ingin luahkan
doaku kuiringi senantiasa
Amin

~ cucu manjamu <3

say yeah to lone ranger. haha

alright now in Kuala Lumpur. So basically now I always do have plans in my mind what to do whenever Saturday and Sunday are coming. As for this weekend, like usual.. shisha will be the first.. and then... let's watch fast five! hahaha
but the weird thing is.. I'm getting more and more and more into 'doing things alone' rather than with any companions beside me... have breakfast at old town alone, window shopping alone, watch movie alone, flirting alone.. yeeaaah aaall alooone. I don't know why, but yes I'm starting to like it.. to live alone. Plus, even my parents dont know that I'm going to bandung end of this May? damn, 'anak yang tak soleh kan'? haha whatever. It is not that I'm forgetting my family nor my friends.. No 'Q & A' tq.. people, do forgive me if next time you ask me anything, I'll be like...........*nothing*.... hahaha. if you guys insist.. there is one thing that I can be definite.. now I am focusing on making money for my future. So other than that, better dont ask me anything or you will be hurt heaering my answer. huahaha. Owh yeah, anyway.. I think tumblr would be fun to try. hmmm.. o.O

I miss you guys! lets go out this Saturday

are you an arsenal fan? never knew before? lol *L

and you lisa? still remember this? come lets go out on this Saturday so that we can catching up together? what do you think? (thanks for those pictures you gave me last night)

and you azzah, finished already your degree right? come on dude! where's your promise to me habibi? kata nak belanja makan dengan shisha? tipuuuu aaarrhhh habshee ni. So just wanted to talk to you, how about all 4 of us go catching up with together's life whadda ya thank?

it starts here..

it is not intelligence alone that brings success, but also the drive to succeed, the commitment to work hard, and most important thing is the courage to believe in yourself. Know that your dreams must come from your deepest desire. Only then will the barriers come down before you. To know your heart, you must know yourself. You are who you decide to be, not who other people decide for you to be, bear that in mind. Be noble. Stand on the higher ground. Create your life and then go out and live it. Yeah, you can go out and play instead. But remember, playtime is for when you're a kid. And you're a man. So be prepared to get your hands dirty. Let's see some fucking sweat and blood. Let's rock 'n roll brothers and sisters.

It's not the end of the world.

This is not doomsday. It's just another training day for me. Everything in life is up for grabs. I've got to take what's mine. I've got to be right in the middle of it. I stopped once to watch the sights. It was the worst fucking mistake I ever made. Don't make the same mistake. Not a single day will go by when you won't miss out in life.

better man lyric

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

yeah I guess the song deserve to be in my blog.

and btw

its funny when your parents told you that..

"...we miss you when you're still our young one..."

"...but we all wonder, why you're just 19...?"

-.-

NO WORRIES MAMA ABAH. YOU BOTH STILL CAN CALL ME YOUR BRAT IF YOU BOTH WANT TO. ^^

p/s: yes I do need your both arms to make me feel safe :')

'Friends'

The best of friends,
Can change a frown,
Into a smile,
when you feel down.

The best of friends,
Will understand,
Your little trials,
And lend a hand.

The best of friends,
Will always share,
Your secret dreams,
Because they care.

The best of friends,
Worth more than gold,
Give all the love,
A heart can hold.

" A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
Mignon McLaughlin

words

“One's regard for another is based, in no small degree, on whether or not the person keeps his or her word. Even parents, for instance, would be surprised at the extent they drop in the opinion of their children when a promise is not kept.”

“People who keep their word are trusted and admired. People who do not are regarded like garbage. Those who break their word often never get another chance.”

“One should never permit another to give his or her word lightly. And one should insist that when a promise is made, it must be kept.”

“Keep your word once given.” — L. Ron Hubbar

sweet bonding

p/s: Alexa, she's very darn adorable♥

~makes my heart smile ^^~

I came across this on yahoo and love it love it love it made me laugh and cry. I can't stop watching this...... the song and performance is only second to the obvious father daughter relationship which is incredible. I had one of the worst weeks in my life last 3 weeks. I put this on and this made me forget eveything! It gave me a better mood for finals today. X ) Okay this is the most loving, cutest thing I've seen in a while. What a wonderful gift for the father to share with his daughter.

p/s: I love that when she sang about going home, she looked at her dad and smiled ^^